Even Always Ends
by Leonard 356
Summary: AU after the end of episode XY. Kate must face the consequences of her decision to keep secrets from the one man she should trust. One shot for now.


_**AN:**_ I was disappointed to see how the writers were capable of undoing any character growth for Beckett in a single episode. She's back to Watershed Beckett keeping secrets from the one person that she could trust without question. I'm sure that the writers will come up with some sort of justification for her actions that will require a suspension of disbelief.

Alexis was funny at the beginning of the episode then turned condescending by the end. Her blind loyalty to Kate seemed so out of character, given her supposed devotion to her father.

Once again, Rick comes out looking weak and cartoonish.

A One shot for now, but may continue depending on how the episodes pan out.

As usual, Castle and all of the characters belong to ABC and Andrew Marlowe.

X-X-X-X

"I'm sorry dad, but you don't have the skills or training that Beckett has." Alexis blurts out without thinking, caught up in the moment.

Castle can only respond by giving his daughter a look that couldn't mask the betrayal he felt at the moment. His wife, the woman that he loved without question had once again lied to him. Maybe not directly, but once again by omission. He thought that they had moved beyond all of that.

Alexis sees the look on her father's face and immediately regrets her poor choice of words. Hoping to soften the blow, she adds. "When you were gone for those two months, I thought that you were dead.. And then today when you went missing.."

Rick could see the genuine concern in his daughter's eyes as she spoke and wanted to comfort her. Assure her that he would never leave.

"I'm sure that Kate has a good reason for not telling you about this.." Alexis comments in defense of Beckett with a little more confidence than she actually felt at the moment. "If you love her, you have to trust her.…"

Rick moved away from his daughter and shot her an incredulous look. "Really Alexis? That's the best you can come up with? I'm just supposed to accept her continued secrets because of love? That anything that she does is all right because she tells me she loves me? That's not how real love works."

He sighed in frustration and raked his fingers through his hair as Alexis stares in surprise. "Your lack of faith in me hurts more than you'll ever know… Have you always thought so little of me?"

"Dad, I.." Alexis tries to respond before Rick holds up his hand cutting her off.

"I had the skills and resources necessary to help rescue you in Paris, didn't I? I spent a year training with the CIA, remember Sophia Turner? I took down a trained assassin unarmed. I saved Beckett's life more times than she ever saved mine, yet I lack the skills? I'm hurt and more than a little disappointed in your lack of faith in me. I'd expect a comment like that from someone who doesn't know me, but my own daughter?"

Alexis realizes just how much her off-handed comment hurt her father. She also knew that everything that he said was true. She was never as happy in her life when her father rescued her from her kidnappers in Paris. She never knew how he found out she was there, but assumed that Beckett had been behind it. She rushes to where he stands wrapping her arms around him sobbing. "I'm so sorry dad!"

Despite the hurt and anger he felt at the moment, Rick could never be intentionally cruel to his daughter. He wrapped his arms around her and places a soft kiss on the top of her head. "I know that you are pumpkin and I forgive you… That doesn't mean that I'm not disappointed in your lack of confidence in me…" He releases her from the hug so that he can look directly into her eyes. "After this is all over, I think that it's time for us to have a serious father-daughter talk and this time I'll be playing the role of the adult…"

"What about you dad?"

"Me? I'm going to stay here and do whatever it takes to bring Kate back… After that, I honestly don't know."

X-X-X

The case was over and Kate was back in the 12th putting together her statement before she returned home for a well deserved rest. She was surprised and disappointed when she doesn't see Castle anywhere. Ryan and Esposito are equally surprised by his disappearance, telling Kate how he never left their side as they worked to bring her back safely. 'Maybe he's preparing a 'Welcome Home' celebration for me at the loft.' Kate thought as a smile formed on her face. 'That's just the type of thing that he'd do...'

Kate had always lived by the mantra 'It's better to ask for forgiveness than permission'. She knew that Rick would be upset with her for not telling him what she was doing, but just assumed that given enough time, he'd come around. He always did in the past and now that they were married, it would be harder to walk away.

The drive back to the loft was spent with her preparing her apology, running various scenarios through in her mind. All of them ended the same way with Castle forgiving her for her reckless actions.

"Captain Beckett, it's so good to see you." The doorman greeted her as she entered the lobby of the apartment building. Kate feigned a smile as she returned the greeting and walked to the elevators. She didn't understand why she felt so nervous as the elevator made it's way to her floor. It wasn't like Castle to leave her alone and she worried if she'd pushed him too far this time…

Fumbling with her keys, she enters a dark and silent apartment. For the briefest of moments she actually thought that Rick and his family were hiding, waiting to surprise her. Turning on the lights, she calls out Castle's name as her voice echoes in the oversize room. Her anxiety only increases with each passing second of silence. Quickly, she walks into his office and then into their bedroom that only confirms no one is there. Now panicked, she pulls her phone from her pocket and presses the speed dial button to call Rick. She can hear his phone ringing on the nightstand by their bed.

Kate calls Alexis as she runs from room to room looking for any trace of her husband. The redhead answers after the third ring, somewhat surprised by who was calling. "Kate! It's so good to hear your voice. I was so worried."

Beckett was touched by the genuine concern in the girls voice but is more concerned about her husband at the moment. "Alexis, I'm at the loft and Rick's not here. Did something happen?"

"You haven't seen him? I thought that he'd be waiting for you at the precinct… He was so worried about you…"

Once again Castle is collateral damage in her quest for justice. The guilt she suddenly felt for her behavior was nearly overwhelming. "Do you know where he might be? I have to talk to him, to make things right."

"I honestly don't know Kate… Dad and I sort of had a falling out…"

Beckett lets a small gasp escape as she realizes that Alexis is a victim of her actions. She didn't need to ask why, but couldn't stop herself.

"I sort of told dad that the reason why you didn't tell him what you were doing was because he wasn't as well trained as you are… That he needed to trust that you were only trying to protect us…"

"My god Alexis, you didn't!" Kate replies without thinking. She knew that Rick was as capable as anyone she had ever worked with, didn't she? He'd saved her life on more than one occasion, didn't he?

"I'm sorry Kate, but dad was so upset and I was afraid that he'd do something stupid and get himself killed." Alexis replies between sobs now. "Where can he be?"

Kate tries to assure Alexis that her father is fine and that he is probably at The Old Haunt clearing his head. She continues her inspection of the apartment looking for any clues regarding Castle's whereabouts when she spots the envelope sitting on the kitchen counter near the espresso machine. It is simply marked 'Kate' and she gasps seeing it, knowing that whatever is inside will not be good. Sitting in front of it is the bracelet that he had bought for her to celebrate her new job.

"Alexis, I've got to go. Call me if you hear from your dad." Kate rushes out her words as she picks up the envelope from the counter. The call ends and she shoves the phone into her pocket as she takes a seat at the breakfast bar. She cautiously opens the envelope as if there was a bomb inside. Beckett pulls the letter from the envelope and unfolds the papers.

 _Dear Kate,_

 _I am so relieved that you are safe and sound, that your ordeal is over. I was so afraid that something terrible was going to happen to you and that I could do nothing to help._

 _Now that you are safe, it's time to examine where we are as a couple._

 _Let me preface this by telling you that I love you. I'll love you always that much is certain. There's one thing that I have learned from two failed marriages, you are doomed to fail if you do not trust and respect your spouse. With Meredith it was a breach of trust with her infidelity. Gina it was a lack of respect for me by only caring about my career._

 _You promised me after you nearly got yourself killed working an undercover case that you had no business being a part of, that you would never knowingly put yourself in harms way without talking to me. You promised Kate and I trusted you. Whatever excuse that you came up with to justify your actions only proves that you do not_ _respect_ _me._

 _I'm a fairly bright guy and I figured out that whatever you're involved in had to do with something that you worked on while you were in the AG's office. I thought that you had been abducted. But then I realize that you were on the run, hiding from the same people that went after the others from the AG's office. Why did you have to run? You're part of the largest police force in the nation. I'm pretty sure that you would have been safer at the 12_ _th_ _than on the run alone. You can say that you weren't allowed to tell me, but you know that I would never betray your trust. I wish I could say the same for you._

 _If your intention was to protect me and my family from harm by withholding information, you failed. Keeping me in the dark made me vulnerable. It didn't keep me from being abducted and tortured. I would have died not knowing why you couldn't_ _trust_ _me enough to tell me what you were doing. I can still see the look on your face when you saved me in the warehouse. You told me you loved me instead of what I needed more than anything. I needed to know why, why couldn't you believe in me enough to tell me the truth?_

Kate felt a single tear slip down her cheek as she read the letter. 'Did the reckless behavior of her past cost her the one man that loved her? Has she finally pushed him to his limit?' She wonders as she uses her finger to wipe away the tear.

 _I have always been your number one supporter. I was willing to take a back seat to your career as long as you let me be part of your life. I have always believed that you are extraordinary, I still do. But the ball is in your court now. I can no longer take a backseat to your quest for justice. You have to decide Kate if being with me is more important that putting_ _our_ _l_ _ives in needless danger._

 _You may think that I'm being unfair, but I still remember the look in your eyes after my abduction. You didn't believe my story. You didn't believe in me. I should have taken the hint then that you'll never trust me the way that I did you._

Kate gasped as she saw the past tense used in regard to his trust of her. 'Did he really no longer trust her? Was he giving up on her, on them?' She gulped back a sob as she continues to read.

 _It's up to you Kate. Lord knows that I have no say in this. You must decide if I'm worthy of your complete trust and respect. It's not fair to either of us if we allow things to continue as they are. You'll learn to resent me for having to keep secrets and I'll never be able to trust you. A marriage cannot be built on secrets and lies. That much I know for sure._

 _That means no secrets regardless of the justification. IF you cannot commit to this, then we'll part ways and one day I'll hope to understand why._

 _I'll give you all of the time you need to decide. I can't bear to face you again not knowing where I fit in your world, if I fit at all. You can call mother when you reach your decision, she knows how to reach me. Until then, I'll give you the space that you need._

 _Always,_

 _Rick_

Kate tenderly folded the letter as if it was something precious as she wipes the now steady flow of tears from her cheeks with the heels of her hands. Rick wanted something from her that she wasn't sure she was capable of giving. Beckett could feel all of the walls that Castle had carefully taken down over the years start to form again as she stares at the bracelet still sitting on the counter. A symbol of his absolute love and devotion to her, the inscription inside mocking her as she stares.

Always.


End file.
